Timeline/World: Alternate Earth – Birds of a Feather
Characters: Alessio Speziale
Race: Human
Age: 42
Final Word Count: 537 words
Unlike Saoirse, while she still was a living, breathing presence in these halls, I’ve never been very big on punishments, that and I never really saw any of the kids do anything that might require punishment and that includes Silvius who’s gotten into trouble often when he was much younger. Never for bad things, at least, I didn’t see them as bad things, I saw them as things his artistic soul was craving to try and he did.
I know I wasn’t a very present father, I want to blame Saoirse’s overbearing presence but I blame myself, I do. I should have tried harder. I did at first, when she’d go for harsh punishments I’d gently talk her down from it, never out of the punishment because she just wouldn’t be budged on that particular point. At least it never did turn out to be overly bad things, in the long run, just some time out against the far wall to think about what they’d done.
I never let her take meals away from them; I never let her raise her hand to them. I might not have been a present father but I still all I could when I was about to make their lives as pleasant as I could. I regret not being more present, not doing more for them but I can’t fix that now.
What I do now is also what I’ve been doing since she’s passed on, since Gina has found her place at my side, since my children have forgiven me my distant parenting presence in the past. I’m there every morning, I’m there in the evenings as often as I can, I help with the meals, I look homework over for those who still have them, I listen to hopes and dreams, I take my place in the audience for plays and dances and games.
There is so much more I wish I could do but I can’t really think of anything else that would be meaningful. I want my time with my kids, even the grown one, to feel important, to be meaningful and not just filled with physical tokens that only mean something for a moment and rarely for long. Loving these kids of mine is the important part, letting them know that I’m here now and that I’ll be here for as long as they’ll have me.
I have to remind myself, now and again, that I’m their father and not their friend, not that they’ve ever really done something that would require me to really turn on the ‘father’ flag. They’re all so well-behaved; I’m amazed by this every day. With Saoirse’s overbearing nature, they very well could have tried to act out now that she was gone, they could have turned into rampaging little monsters and yet they didn’t. I love and adore my kids and I wouldn’t change a thing about them. Even Santos, whose life I was worried would keep on teetering on the edge, has changed drastically and for the better, I was terrified he’d do something stupid but having Royale at his side has saved him in ways I know I could never have.
I have the most wonderful family.
Works of JD Beckett 