If I seem disappointed… it’s because I am. Especially in what you’re doing right now.

 
Timeline/World: Newfound Worlds – Terraphim – Happily Ever After
Characters: Emmerich
Race: Hellhound
Age: 26, physically about 20
Current residence: Xiang Po, Terraphim
Final Word Count: 772 words
 

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The life that surrounds him might be silent but that hardly stops him from living it to the very fullest.

In the place he had called home during his formative years before Tempo had managed to keep him safe, there hadn’t been any chances for him to live his life that way. Everywhere he looked, he was certain that someone was either giving him a disappointed look or one that was clearly angry. They could yell all they wanted at him, he was never going to hear them.

When they’d realized that words were mostly meaningless to him, they turned to other things to voice—no pun intended, clearly—their disappointment and displeasure in him. It hadn’t been very long after that that he’d fled, trying to get away from all that wished him harm in any way, shape or form.

It was no fault of his that he was essentially defective in their eyes, just as it was no fault of Farran’s that he was white as snow instead of being black as was every single one of them otherwise.

Thinking about these things makes him unhappy and it is very rare that he does. Today was special, in a way. It was special in a manner that he didn’t want to think about and yet, as he looked upon the people in the village just below them—he was comfortable sitting up on that cliff, unseen through the foliage—he felt himself fall right back into those formative years.

There were children playing. He was sure they were children, they were much smaller than any of the others and they ran around, often chasing one another playfully. They seemed to have this game where one of them would chase all of the others around and then tap them on the shoulder. The one whose shoulder had been tapped would then turn and begin chasing someone else, the one who had previously done the chasing was now running away like the others.

It seemed like a very energy-intensive game, and it made him wonder as to its origins.

However, standing not far from the area where the littler ones were playing was a tall one. It—the clothing was loose, and the features made it hard to define the possible gender, not that he cared—scowled at the littler ones every time one of them would come even anywhere near. It looked every inch the way Emmerich remembered how the adults in his younger years would look at him. The disappointment clear as day as though he had been going out of his way to make a mess of things.

He hadn’t been, though. He’d just been trying to play a little with the other young ones back then but even they hadn’t been interested in letting him keep up.

Wrinkling his nose somewhat, he still watches the little ones who have now seemingly changed games. One was facing one of the trees, their eyes were closed, and they seemed to be waiting. The others that had been playing scattered, going to hide, it seemed. It made him cant his head somewhat, merely watching. The adult keeping watch over them now merely looked exasperated and Emmerich shook his head. What was it with adults being unable to allow littler ones to play as they wanted?

At least, so long as they didn’t cause any issues and he couldn’t see how any of these games could be at the source of issues. From what he’d seen of the littler ones scattering, none of them had gone anywhere beyond the reach of the village and most were within an area that didn’t have a lot of foot traffic. So why not let them enjoy themselves?

There were so many things that he still didn’t understand about the world as it was. This world that hadn’t been his but that he was slowly making his own. He did what he had to, to help with anything Urban might have needed, even if there still was too much of what happened that made no sense to him. It was one of those things that he’d accepted a long time ago.

So long as Urban allowed him to stick around, it was all he really found himself wanting. If he could be useful, he was useful, if he turned out to be in the way, he moved out of the way and let his companion do whatever it was he needed to do. It wasn’t complicated and really, he was willing to make plenty of compromises, so long as none of them took him away from his Urban.

I’m a mess, you’re a mess, we get it. It’s not an excuse, though.

 
Timeline/World: Through the Looking Glass – Atheria 2nd Generation
Characters: Cha Imani
Race: Human
Age: 65, physically about 24
Current residence: Atheria City, Eresiel
Final Word Count: 782 words
 

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I never expected for us to be reunited with Blair. I mean, all we knew of the whole mess was that we both believed he’d walked out on us, not really knowing any better, and then, once more completely out of the blue—which I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised by any of it—we learned that he’d passed away. I’m not even really sure how we learned that bit of information. I think we were listed in his files and all. There was no body for us to pick up. There was nothing for us to get back. There just was the news that he’d died and that was that.

So, when he cropped back up, spit out of the Eden because it was his time to come back to us—to him, I know, but still—I think we could be forgiven for the fact that we were messes.

I was a mess.

Choe was a mess and Choe has always been the strong one of us both.

Rose was wonderfully patient with both of us while we tried to figure ourselves out.

At one point, after he’d spent a little time with us, but just a little after he’d left to go back to where he was staying, I was sitting down with Choe, just sort of staring at him. I felt like crying all over again, it was disquieting as a feeling, and I didn’t know what to make of it. I knew I couldn’t use the fact that I felt like I was a complete mess as an excuse for anything.

The fact that I felt like I was a complete mess didn’t keep me from being able to do my chores and I tried to get myself into that mindset, but I was failing miserably. Choe wasn’t doing any better. It fell to Rose to keep us in line for a couple of weeks until we’d wrapped our minds around everything that had happened just recently.

Blair still hadn’t been very open about what had happened to him; I honestly think the whole thing has left more than just a physical scar on him, but I don’t remember seeing him smile the way he smiles now when we go and spend some time with him. His eyes are so bright. He’s honestly happy and not just terrified and following whatever cues he’s been told to follow.

Our brother is so different from the person he used to be and, you know what, I actually cherish that in a way that I can’t really put into words. Not very easily, in any case.

I’m not a mess anymore. I’ve finally managed to wrap my mind around everything and while I still wish he would open up a little more about what happened to him, I know it’s not my place to bother him about it. If he wants to talk to either of us about these things, he will. On that same note, I can understand that he might just not want us to know.

I do know that he went out there to protect us. He went with the arsehole to keep us safe. I wish he hadn’t had to do that but knowing the guy and what he possibly did end up doing to Blair, I suppose that it really was the only way out of that situation. It ended in a way it shouldn’t have but it is in the past now and that’s really all there is to it.

We’ve moved forward.

No one talks about the past.

At least, when he’s with us, we’ve learned not to and, you know, he’s been back long enough that talking about the past and trying to figure out these details just isn’t important anymore. He’s with us, we’re all back together, as happy a family as we might ever be and everything’s fine, so why try to dig up the past when it’s not going to do us any good? That’s the one thing I’ve had to learn to understand.

At one point, I was just so mad at everything that had happened to him that, in a way, I guess I just wanted justice, even if justice wasn’t going to happen because the arsehole in question that I wanted justice to be served to, was long dead at this point. So really.

It’s become rare that I think about these things anymore, so I’d like to think I’ve become better with it all. Vengeance or even revenge wasn’t something I’ve ever had any interest in but if you mess with someone I love as much as I adore my brothers, you’ve got something coming.