Please tell me where I went wrong with this because I’m lost.

Timeline/World: Until Tomorrow – Hopeful Beginnings
Current Date: April 3, 2029

Character: Adriel Areleous
Race: Human
Age: 21
Current residence: Klahanie, Washington
 

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Something, something, patience is a virtue, something, something else. Especially when it comes to dealing with a coworker who has been in this place somehow longer than I have, and yet seems to not have learned a single thing on how to handle deliveries.

I know that I learned about this, myself, only a year or so ago. I guess that I just hadn’t really worked quite enough—or that they’d always had someone else for it—for them to deem it necessary that I learn about that part of things. I didn’t mind; not that learning how to handle the deliveries had changed my view on the job or how I did that job, it was just one more thing in my repertoire and it so happened that I could appreciate knowing this.

I also know that other stores might not use the same system, so if I were to need to find another job, I would probably have to learn to do things differently but that’s a what-if thing for way down the road, as need might be. At this point, need might be is nowhere to be found, this job suits me fine and my bosses seem happy with my results.

Now, I have a lot of patience. I might not be the absolutely most patient person around, but I have a lot of patience, or so I’d like to believe.

It seems, however, that I don’t have a whole lot of patience when it comes to Sally. Sally was already working at the store when I started, years ago. We would cross paths every so often because I think she worked at the store in this city and the one that was just next city over. When I was hired, they had her teach me the ropes. She was a good teacher, I learned well, and I’d like to think I made no mistakes that cost the store any money as I was never brought into the office for them to discuss my behaviour, had that behaviour been a problem.

So, all in all, I want to think that I am doing well and that, if Sally was the one to teach me what I needed to know—to be fair, she skimmed over deliveries, telling me someone else would often be handling those—she should have had that knowledge herself, in some way.

I mean, unless they had a reason not to teach her how to handle the deliveries, as she’s been here longer than I have, I don’t understand how it is that she seems to be unable to work out the simpler details of these things.

We had a delivery come in earlier this morning. I asked her if she was all right to handle it as I was taking care of a client who had asked for me. They were a repeat client who came almost on a schedule. I don’t mind helping that very client. Sally told me that she’d be fine, she headed to the back and about fifteen minutes later when the client was gone and Sally was nowhere to be found, I headed to the back for a few moments. The door has a bell on it, so I knew I’d hear any client coming in.

Sally was looking at the small bit of paperwork that came with each delivery—that told us what was in that delivery and the rest—and she just looked absolutely lost. As though she’d never seen that type of paperwork before in her life. She was mumbling under her breath about how she needed someone to tell her where she’d gone wrong because nothing on that paper made sense and she was just so, so lost.

I did the only thing that made sense. I went to try and help her figure out what was wrong—which, it was a delivery like every other and all she had to do was check every UPC on the sheet, compare it to the items we had to make sure it matched and mark it as such on said sheet. When I tried to explain that to her in the simplest possible terms I could, her lost look just got worse. She told me that it made no sense, that she’d never had to deal with a delivery this complicated and… she promptly stormed out of the back, out to the front… and outside where she took a very unscheduled smoke break.

It took me ten minutes to deal with the delivery, by that time the driver was long gone, which was fine, but I did worry about whether or not she’d signed all the necessary paperwork where it was meant to be signed. I double-checked on the box to also make sure that it really was our stuff since a lot of it was new stock that I’d never seen before, but it really was ours and I guess we were changing a few things up and around.

Sally has been giving me ugly looks all day since and I find my patience with her running very short.

Final Word Count: 854

I am a force of nature and should be treated like one.

Timeline/World: Until Tomorrow – Family Values
Current Date: November 15, 2022

Character: Adriel Areleous
Race: Human
Age: 19
Current residence: Warwick, New York
 

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I don’t know that I miss high school. It had its ups and downs and I think that would have been the same no matter the school year or the type of life I’d lived, or, you know, the school I’d gone to. This school is the one I went to from the start, I know that I’m lucky in that regard and I can’t complain. I was familiar with its walls for years, even though I changed buildings as I grew older.

Setting foot in the conservatory was certainly different. I’d been there after hours and one weekend a month during my high school years. It gave me time to learn my way around and adapt to how different it was. Certainly, there were plenty of places I had never seen yet up until it was time to really head in full time but I think that this is just one of those things.

When I think back to high school, I don’t know that there’s much of anything that I focus on. There’s nothing that really stands out other than when I met Lilli but that’s about it. Not that my life changed drastically when I met her, I don’t know that it has changed drastically even now but I know I’m a late bloomer and that’s just what it is.

Two people do stand out in my memory and I suppose I can’t really be surprised. One caused issues with Lilli and we eventually took care of that, the other was the odd girl who somehow thought there was winning involved when it came to music class. While we were in school, that wasn’t a thing, not really. Everyone, if their grades allowed, was part of the orchestra or the smaller groups that got together. There usually was room for everyone unless everyone somehow opted for the same instruments.

We made it work, in any case.

Here, at the conservatory, things aren’t all that different and yet, in their own way, they’re like nothing I’ve experienced before. It’s been a huge learning experience and I have liked it quite well so far. It’s just been new. Everything is about music and it’s all I eat day in and day out and… I’m not sick of it. I could go for more of it and I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that.

People are a little different, though. Some are competitive and I do get it; others are mellow as could be and they just want to learn all they could before moving on.

There is one young woman—her age is a mystery to me and it’s fine—she’s a cello player and we haven’t really had that many run-ins. She’s a little slip of a thing, even shorter than Mother and the few times I’ve seen her with her cello, it just made me smile. I’ve heard her say that she wanted a contrabass but her parents wouldn’t let her for some reason.

I think that she’s been teased about her height more than once because she’s very sensitive about it and she tries to make up for it in a few different ways. She reminds me of small dogs that think they’re so much bigger than they really are. Something about thinking she’s a force of nature and she should be treated like one. She’s all bark and very little bite, though, at least, of the few times I’ve come across her. She struggles to carry her cello around and I know that others have offered her help before but she refuses it. So that’s on her.

As we have very little in common other than our love of music, if I can manage to stay away from her, I think I will. I don’t think it would do either one of us any good to be near one another anyway. I don’t do well with people who are defensive even when all you’ve said to them is hello because they think you might make a comment about what makes them different from others. I don’t need that kind of thing in my life so we can each keep to our own things, thank you.

Until we might get paired up for a duet or something, she can be the short, mystery woman and I’ll be little-old-me and no one will change that. While I’m here, my focus is on the music and on learning all I can, nothing else. And that’s all I want.

Final Word Count: 753

Clearly, you can see what a catch I am. You’d be a fool not to.

 
Timeline/World: Newfound Worlds – Erisia – Rockbourne Dome
Characters: Adriel Areleous
Race: Human
Age: 21
Current residence: Rockbourne Dome, Erisia
Final Word Count: 742 words
 

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Flirting is weird.

I know I might possibly be considered strange because of that. I know I might just get odd looks and rolled eyes, but I am as I am. I’m awkward, I have a hard time figuring out my own emotions and, most of the time, I feel as though I’m honestly detached from these very emotions. Now, if you get a particular mousy one at my side, that’s different. I still have a bit of a hard time understanding even my own emotions, but she makes it easier, and I want that, at least when she’s with me.

We still get plenty of people in the self-defence class, though, little by little, we’ve been trying to figure out a way of finding someone else to take over the teaching. I know that, like most of my siblings, I’m totally going to step into this new life in Peculiar once we’d able to. I’d like for Lilli to be with me once we go there but I won’t force her to come with me. I’ll bring it up to her once the final decision is made and we can finally begin to figure out the way for all of us to head there.

We’re still trying to decide whether or not we’ll be leaving little by little, so as to not arouse suspicion or anything, or whether we’ll be leaving as a whole group, staging something to make it seem as though we were in an accident. I don’t know that this second option would actually work. We’re not quite there yet, as is. A few more months, as I see it, but we’re not quite there yet.

As far as the class is concerned, we still get a mix of men and women. That feels oddly comforting. We give that class so that people can hold their own. We might all be trained as soldiers, but it’s different when you’re taught how to keep yourself safe. At least, that’s how I see it. We do still keep the two classes separated. The women seem to feel safer being taught on their own. I don’t know if they think they’re being taught moves that the men aren’t, and they can take these very men by surprise if need be. It’s all right, though.

I’ve seen a good few couples come our way, each of them going their separate ways when they come to the class. At
times, I feel like we should offer a mixed class but that’d just be more trouble than not.

Other than the couples, a few men—and some women too, really—at times come up near the entrance, to see what it’s all about, and when people begin to leave, either by themselves or with friends, these watchers will sort of flirt with them. As though, what, it was a turn-on to watch things? I don’t honestly know. I never asked and I don’t really want to ask, either.

One of us is usually near the doorway—not much of a doorway but it serves as much—mostly to make sure that we’re there to answer any final questions if they have any but to just keep an eye on everyone to make sure they’re all right. Over the last few classes, I’ve offered to be the one near the doorway, mostly because I’ve been waiting to keep my eye on one particular guy that seems intent on hitting on every woman that comes out of the class.

It’s always with the same line, too. It doesn’t seem to really work on any of them but there’s just something about him that bothers me. I don’t know how anyone would like to be told by a random stranger that they—the stranger—are clearly a catch and that it should be easy to see. To then be called a fool not to see it is just, I don’t know, it feels demeaning to me.

It’s one of those things, I guess, but maybe I’m also reading too much into it. This guy is coming up to women who are learning self-defence, most of them have been in the classes long enough that they can keep themselves safe just fine on their own but there’s always going to be a difference between physically fine, and mentally, as well as emotionally fine. Maybe I’m just making too much of a fuss over nothing. I don’t know.

You have no charm. Looks like I have my work cut out for me.

 
Timeline/World: Until Tomorrow – Hopeful Beginnings
Characters: Adriel Areleous
Race: Human
Age: 19
Current residence: Klahanie, Washington
Final Word Count: 754 words
 

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Why do people somehow feel the need to tell me how I’m supposed to be living my life? How I’m supposed to act? How is it that they think they know me best and know how I should be, or not, behaving around my beautiful and wonderful girlfriend?

It’s not as though I make a habit of public displays of affection; I suppose that might be one of the reasons why some others I study with seem to think that I need help in the romance department. I don’t need help. I think that my very mine and very personal relationship with my partner is my business and no one else should even be thinking about it.

Cue Clifton. We’ve been practising a lot together, lately, because we have a duet piece coming up. I don’t know why we were paired together. It’s clear that our playing styles are very different and we’re on a just as different level when it comes to playing but I did need a partner for the duet, so there came Clifton. I just wish that the duet had been a bit more complex than it really is but mister I-know-how-to-charm-my-way-into-anyone’s-bed wouldn’t have been able to keep up if that had been the case.

So, okay, about a week and a half ago, I had asked Lili to join me for lunch as I had wanted to take her out somewhere nice. I seem to be able to manage that much, every now and again, at least. As we got back to the conservatory, Clifton was walking up himself and all I did was lean in to peck her cheek as he walked on by. As I said, I don’t like public displays of affection and I do show her how much I adore her just fine while we’re alone.

I didn’t think much of anything after that. I walked back upstairs, we got our things settled back up and Clifton turns to me, bluntly tells me that I have no charm and that he’ll have his work cut out for him.

I stared at him for a good, long while. I stayed silent. I don’t know if I expected him to say anything else or if I was just… something. I just don’t know. He stared right back but he had this smug look on his face as though somehow, he thought he was right in his claims.

Eventually, I told him to mind his own business and to stay away from Lili. I’m well aware that she can very probably handle herself just fine, but I still wouldn’t want the likes of him anywhere near her, if I can help it at all.

The only reason I didn’t drop him out of the duet, at that point, really was because I needed him. I hated it, I still hate it and I’m going to keep on hating it for the next five days until this is over. Once the show is done and the duet is through, you can bet that I’m going to make sure to stay well enough away from him because I have absolutely no desire to hear him talk to me, let alone do I have any desire to be near him. I don’t need to hear about all the notches on his belt.

I’m just not that kind of person. I live what I feel to be a fairly simple life. I study at the conservatory, I found a job in, fittingly enough, a quiet little music shop and that’s about it. I don’t need to flaunt any of what happens behind closed doors, no one wants to hear about that. At least, I know that I certainly don’t want to, and I don’t need some idiot who claims to be a gift to women, trying to tell me how to charm my way into the bed of any woman I might want.

There is only one woman in my life, and I don’t think I need to charm her into any situation. If she doesn’t want something, she doesn’t want it and I’m not going to force her to it. I know that it takes a whole lot of different people to make up the world as it is, but I do wish that people like Clifton weren’t really a thing. On that same note, I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who like guys like him but that’s why we’re in two very, very different circles at this point.

I want to make a difference in your life, but I don’t know where to start.

 
Timeline/World: Until Tomorrow – Family Values
Characters: Adriel Areleous
Race: Human
Age: 18
Current residence: Warwick, New York
Final Word Count: 758 words
 

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I’m sure that plenty of people would possibly tell me that I’m a late bloomer. I can understand the words and their meanings, I just wish they didn’t apply to me, in a way. Though, when I do think about it, I don’t know that it’s the late bloomer part, or just the fact that even though I’ve known her for five years, I still fumble a lot when I’m around her.

I’ve realized, not so long ago, that this comfortable warmth I’ve felt in her presence over the last year or so, means something more than I thought it might mean. I just don’t know what to do about it. A little voice inside me tells me that I should just go for it but… I have no idea what going for it means. What I do know is that I feel like I want to make a difference in her life, somehow, I just don’t know where to start with that sort of project.

Most of the time, I’m still very focused on music. It just keeps my head in place. My heart longs for me to play whenever I can but when she’s with me, there’s a shift in that desire to be focused on music. It’s not all-encompassing, but it’s very present. I want to spend more time with her, but I don’t know about what we would do about it.

There is the Halloween gathering that’s coming up at home and while it isn’t the first year that we’ve invited her and her brothers, I think it might be the first year where I might really be trying to spend my time really with her and not just in a general sort of sense. It’s hard to put into words. It’s not as though I want to go all out and declare my undying love because I don’t think I’m even there yet.

What I do know is that I care about her a lot more than as just a friend. I’ve heard mom talk about different types of emotional bonds between people and all but there were so many different terms that I don’t know where I would fit and what that would make me. In a way, I guess it doesn’t really matter. So long as I’m comfortable with myself, right? At least, that’s how I see it. I know everyone has already been invited to the gathering, I just need to decide on a fitting costume, and I need to maybe see about trying to ask her if she wants to go on a walk of the grounds or not. It’ll really depend on the weather.

I think it could be a good start, though, a walk through the grounds. Usually, even when it’s a bit snowy, that snow sort of adds a bit of charm to the feel of the day. Or the night, as is. We have sort of fairy lights set in trees and bushes along most of the paths and while I don’t know that I would call the walk romantic, I still think it could be interesting. As is, I don’t think I’m trying for romantic so much as just, I don’t know, maybe sweet?

The thing is, though, I don’t really want to ask my brothers for help. I feel like they’ve made it so much further in their relationships than I even just feel ready for. It’s not like they flaunt it, but Toly is rarely home and the same can be said for Andro. I mean, I guess we’re also at that age where it’s normal that we’re starting to look for a potential place to live that’s not the big house but still.

Even though so many of us have moved out, Mother has plenty of fosters still in the house and it keeps it lively. It’s been different. Years ago, when I still was probably too young to really understand it, when Father still was a memory we feared, I think that most of us thought we’d probably be spending the rest of our lives in the big house, helping one way or another. But since most of the older ones have found someone to be with, things have changed but I can’t say that they haven’t changed in a good way, they’ve just changed from a good family dynamic to another interesting one. I wouldn’t change it.

Now, I just need to focus a bit on figuring out the gathering and how I’m going to go about things.

I want to quit—I don’t want to be used as a weapon anymore.

 
Timeline/World: Newfound Worlds – Erisia – Rockbourne Dome
Characters: Adriel Areleous
Race: Human
Age: 20
Final Word Count: 744 words
 

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I had the weirdest experience with one of the students in the self-defence class yesterday that I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it and I’m still trying to understand just what happened.

I know that she joined the class because her brother talked her into it. He told us that she’d been getting bullied plenty while in classes—they’re twins—and he was rather hoping that she would learn a little something from the class we give so that she could hold her own. He’s had to come to her rescue several times because they were doing more than just vocal bullying, they were beating her up.

The thing is, I didn’t really notice it at first, and I’m thinking more about it now after her little sort of blow-up from yesterday, but I think she might be a little bit like Sorren. I think the word is autistic, I’ve read about it a bit, not much, but it was in a book that I’d found underground and I’d skimmed a bit. There’s something about her behaviour that pulls her apart from the others. I’ve noticed that she has a hard time expressing herself most of the time. She doesn’t show emotions easily and her brother tells me that he’s seen her get focused on a single thing and sort of lose track of everything else. Now, I know that these are just general traits and even Sorren is different, I’m no doctor, I can’t diagnose her but her behaviour makes me think of Sorren’s on certain points.

Yesterday, she came right up to me, her eyes wide and worried and she told me that she didn’t want to learn anymore. She didn’t want to be used as a weapon. It made me pause what I’d been doing, I gave her my whole attention but she didn’t add more. She only stared at me as though expecting me to do… something. I eventually told her that it was all right. That she didn’t have to take the class if she didn’t want to.

That seemed to placate her and she turned to leave. I didn’t tell her that her brother only wanted her to learn so she could keep herself safe, I didn’t try to change her mind, I just let her go. I do know from experience with Sorren that arguing doesn’t work. It only causes further distress and that wasn’t part of my plan at that point.

She didn’t go far, though. She only sat on the far edge of the room and waited. Her brother picks her up every class. I think he drops her off not far from the entrance to the little nook that we claimed as our own for the class and he picks her up after. I did motion him my way when he came to pick her up, though. I let him know what she said and that we couldn’t force anyone to learn if they didn’t want to. He just sort of sighed in defeat but nodded and went on his way with his sister at his side.

It really isn’t my place to tell him that she might not be quite like everyone else. It’s not my place to even try to place a label on what might explain her different behaviour. I’m no doctor and I don’t want to be. I’d rather be learning to play music if I could. I found a wooden flute almost six months ago while I was roaming the countless tables of the market. It’s meant to be played sideways and I have been practising a little whenever I can but it’s not easy and it took me two weeks to just be able to actually blow a clear note. I don’t know what note is called what and I can’t read sheet music—I’ve found some of those too—but I can manage several clear notes now and I mostly just create my own tunes when it’s just little old me in my room and no one else around to be bothered by the sound.

I just hope that she’ll be all right, in the long run. Bullying isn’t something anyone should have to go through, especially if that person might have a hard time understanding what’s going on or why they’re being bullied. I guess this is a case of time will tell. I’m sure I’ll see more of her brother before long.

See this? This is exactly why I’d live longer than you in a horror movie.

 
Timeline/World: Until Tomorrow – Hopeful Beginnings
Characters: Adriel Areleous
Race: Human
Age: 18
Final Word Count: 685 words
 

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I don’t really understand the point of horror movies. I mean, I know that horror movies are supposed to just scare you or gross you out but who ever thought the idea up?

With that said, clearly, I’m not a fan of horror movies, though, to be honest, I don’t think I’m a fan of movies in general. I don’t know that I’ll ever be and the only reason I ever watch any movie is for the soundtrack. Those are always something to pay attention to.

One might be able to reason, with that information, that I’ve never actually gone to the movies. Not when they’re on the ‘big-screen’ and, well, while growing up, until the men in the black suits came to take Father away, going on any outings of the sort was certainly not something any of us would have ever imagined doing, as was.

A few months ago, for reasons I still can’t fully understand, one of our teachers decided that playing a movie during our afternoon class was what the day called for. I was so unfocused during the whole movie that I couldn’t even begin to tell what the movie had been, which teacher had decided on doing that and what the point of it all had been.

All I do recall, beyond my focus on the bits of music that shone through, was that other students were whispering in the back of the class about how they were clearly better suited to survive longer in a horror movie than anyone else. Those words floated in and out of my mind during the movie and I possibly only heard them and still remember them because they came from very close behind my shoulder. The students couldn’t have been much further off than the desk right behind mine and one off to the side. Which side, I don’t know.

Does it matter?

What kind of imagination do you have to have, to be able to imagine yourself surviving in a horror movie?

I’m sure that there are plenty of people out there who would roll their eyes at me if they were to know my thoughts on the subject. I’ve heard about the people others call preppers, or doomsday people, or whatever it is the term they use for people who seem to spend more time preparing themselves for potential horrors and end-of-world scenarios than anything else.

Doesn’t that take away from the fact that you should try at least to appreciate your life on a daily basis? I don’t know enough about the life these people lead to be able to judge them and, well, I don’t really want to judge them either but it feels strange to imagine that some people out there seem to not be able to appreciate the little things.

The warmth of the sun on your face on a chilly day. The sound of songbirds coming back in the spring though we still have a few that stay through the winter. The feel of that first drop of rain on your nose. Simple things in life that make that very life just seem like it’s a good place to be at. My life wasn’t always great, even from a young age I’d had a feeling that I was never going to actually amount to anything but things have changed.

I might not have great life plans and ideas that will take me to great heights but I still want to keep on playing music and to keep on playing music, I just need to stay focused and practice as much as I can. Without practice, I know I won’t get very far in life.

Maybe that’s also one of the reasons why I don’t care much for movies. That and I just can’t stay focused on them long enough to be able to appreciate them, if there’s anything to be appreciated to them. That might make me an uncultured idiot in the eyes of some but their opinions of me don’t really matter much, not really. I don’t care what they say.

Not at all how I pictured this to go, but at least I’m the one winning.

 
Timeline/World: Until Tomorrow – Family Values
Characters: Adriel Areleous
Race: Human
Age: 17
Final Word Count: 653 words
 

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Most of us in class gave her a look. I don’t think she even noticed. Everyone had fallen quiet, even the teacher seemed at a bit of a loss with how to handle the sudden statement from the usually mousy one. Some people seem to think that I’m the quiet one in class but she’s even quieter than I’ve ever been. At least, she was quieter up until the middle of last week and, since, I think that our teachers have been working on trying to figure out how to get her to understand that none of what’s happening in our music class has anything to do with winning.

It never had anything to do with winning and it never will. None of us is playing against anyone else. We’re supposed to be playing together. Yes, some of us are getting solo pieces to play but it still has nothing to do with winning. It just depends on how much you’ve practised, how quickly you can learn the piece; it’s not a competition though I suppose that to some, it might seem like it.

Before that weird little comment of hers, she’d actually been picked to play the solo for the Christmas show but I know the teachers are considering picking someone else. I wouldn’t be lying if I said I probably was going to be the one to get it since I usually tend to, but I hadn’t really been feeling it this year and I’d let the teachers know, it’s why they’d picked her.

Really, though. What kind of weird thought process goes through someone’s mind when they’re told that they are going to play one of the Christmas solos at the concert, for them to go that this wasn’t how they’d pictured that things would go but, that at least, they were the one winning?

I hadn’t spent much time around her since she first got into our class and I’m even less interested now. I already don’t spend much time around others but I try to make a small exception for my musically inclined classmates. I mean, I have to spend at least a couple of hours with them every day so it makes sense that I try at least to socialize a little with them.

She’s going to be the exception to the rule, though. After the issue with him things have been a bit odd as far as my spending time with others is concerned and on some days, I don’t know how to act. I try but it’s not always easy.

If the teachers ask me to play the solo, I’ll have to think about it but I don’t know that I can handle someone else potentially becoming a toxic presence in my life. The thing is, though, I wouldn’t want her to act that way around anyone else, so I guess that this is a bit of a lose-lose situation. I’ll talk to Mother about it, I know she’ll most likely have good advice for me and we can figure something out, in the long run.

For now, I try not to think about it too much and I just focus on making sure I know the music by heart. We’re not supposed to really play with our sheet music during the concert though it’s not forbidden but we’re given so much time to learn the pieces that they’ve come to expect us to know them by heart. I wonder if she’s given that one a lot of thought. The solo pieces are pretty different from the usual stuff, I can’t help but think that she might not realize just how much work she has—had, I guess—ahead of her as one of the two or three soloists.

I guess it’s not really mine to worry about, though, so I’ll see what the teachers and mother say. I’ll go from there after that.

Show them what you’re made of.

 
Timeline/World: Erisia – Rockbourne Dome
Characters: Adriel Areleous
Race: Human
Age: 18
Final Word Count: 553 words
 

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I’m still seriously awkward when it comes to her but I’d like to think I’ve made some progress with the flirting thing. It helps that she seems open to said flirting and flirts back. Of course, it then seems to turn me into a completely clumsy idiot but it makes her smile so I guess it’s a sort of win-win situation? I don’t know.

I like asking her to help with the demonstrations when we’ve split up the main group into smaller groups so we can practise things a little more quietly. It seems to give most of the women a boost to be able to turn to smaller groups and it means that each instructor has more time for each of their students. We also try to not always pick the same people into the same group so that everyone can practise with everyone and learn that not all handle things the same way, not everyone has the same strengths and weaknesses.

Now and again, some of the participants will get a little too rowdy and they’ll start trying to egg one another on, shoving a little and trying to get the two doing the demonstration to ‘show them what you’re made of’, this is one of the few times we’ll put a stop to things because, well, it’s not the actual point of our classes. This isn’t about fighting someone or showing anyone what you’re made of, it’s about learning the basis of self-defence to make sure you can keep yourself safe when you need it.

These little not-quite-fights don’t happen often and they don’t last long. At least not in the area we’ve picked as ours for the classroom. We keep order and it just feels like a good and safe place down here. It’s actually pretty relaxing, despite the fact that there’s nothing actively relaxing about teaching women—and some men—about self-defence.

This might also be why I’m still so awkward about this flirting thing I’m trying to do. My mind is always so focused on what we’re teaching, at least while we’re down here, that it doesn’t really cross my mind to do any flirting while we’re on break and when we’re out of the underground, I just get hyper-shy or something, I stumble over my words, I fumble and I feel like I make a fool of myself more than anything else and I’ve known her for about eighteen months now and I feel like any progress I might have made is minimal.

Why do I suck this way? I don’t know and I’m sure plenty of people would like to tell me that I don’t suck, I’m just a little awkward and I’ll come out of my shell at some point but I still feel like my shell just keeps on getting harder and thicker with each passing day and I’m getting even more awkward. I could ask my siblings for some tips, at least the ones who’ve found someone to call their own. Most of them are with other guys, I wonder if that’d really change much of anything?

There’s also the fact that what might work for them might not work for me. I just don’t know. I’ll figure it out at some point, I have to.

Stop making fun of my failures.

 
Timeline/World: Alternate Earth – Birds of a Feather
Characters: Adriel Areleous
Race: Human
Age: 15
Final Word Count: 577 words
 

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Bullying might have been what drew me to him; what made our fragile friendship blossom. It’s also what put a painful end to it all.

When you’re just beginning to learn to play an instrument, you’re going to slip, you’re going to play the wrong note, your finger either not on the right hole or a little too low along the string, there are dozens of ways for that to happen and no one should be laughing at you for it.

When you’re attending a prestigious, private high school, you’d think that bullying wouldn’t happen but it does. At times, I think it’s worse but I’ve been in this school from the start so I don’t have much to base myself on, it’s not very helpful. I could listen to what others tell me but there’s no way to know if they’re being honest or not, it’s just not something I try to think about much, anyway.

It’s still what drew me to him, I just know it. He was freshly transferred into our class and while he played well, he still needed some practice. When we all played as one, we could normally miss out on those little slips and misses but when the teacher would have us play in small groups, those were clearer. Every time he slipped—though that was the same thing for everyone—nearly the entire class would titter and point fingers, whispering among themselves until the teacher called the class to attention.

I don’t like bullying much and maybe that’s why we bonded. If I’d had any idea that this bonding would go so much deeper than I’d ever expected it to go, I might have done something differently but maybe not. I’m not very outgoing and he was the first proper friend I’d made who wasn’t family. I guess it’s just one of those things.

Mind you, I never actually stood up for him. It wouldn’t have done any good. I did stand by him though and I helped him better himself in any way I could.

To be absolutely honest, I don’t regret the friendship I had with him. I just wish it hadn’t turned out the way it did. There’s this thing about judging books by their covers and anyone judging him would have been so wrong they probably would have stood there with their mouths hanging open if they’d ever learned the truth behind it all.

I just look at it with new eyes and I still can’t even tell that things were going to turn out this way. There were no signs, no twitch, no words, nothing to prepare me for what happened the first time and then for what happened the second time when he started harassing Lils. I think that’s the one thing that sits just so wrong with me.

That he would have picked on me for some reason, I would have accepted, but that he started to take his anger out on her because I’d befriended her is the one thing I just can’t stand. I understand why he’s done it, I do. The outcome would have been no different if she hadn’t come into my life. I would have never been more than his friend and it’s possible I would have ended up distancing myself from him one way or another as it is.

I can’t turn back time, but you can bet I’m going to be careful about the future.