I would burn the world before I ever let them hurt you. I should hope you return the sentiments.

Timeline/World: Newfound Worlds – Chiera: Summer
Current Date: Unknown

Character: Atheri Theus
Race: Chieran
Age: 37
Current residence: Molian, Shaynor
 

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I know that I have a hard time being open about how I feel. At times, I’m sure Dom looks at me and sighs in exasperation because he can’t believe I still struggle with showing my emotions in public. Not that he’s ever done that, he respects me too much for that and he has too much patience for that to be his go-to when I freeze slightly in public, even when he’s just reaching for my hand to hold.

In a way, I want to believe that we’ve grown into one another. He’s helped me become a bit more at ease with myself, even if I’m worried about what others might think and he’s begun wrapping his mind around the fact that while I would love to be able to hold his hand regardless of where we are, I just can’t.

The way we grew up differs so greatly that there are days when I still can’t fully wrap my mind around his own habits and behaviours. Much like I’m sure he’s the same about my own experiences. We work together, and we figure things out. That’s what happens when you love someone, right?

While I might not have sat him down and told him that straight up, I want to believe that he knows that I would burn the world before I ever let anyone hurt him. I feel as though he would return the sentiments. I feel so strongly about this man that protecting him from harm comes easily and I wish that I could overcome the issues I have with public displays of affection, even slight ones, with such easiness but it just isn’t so.

Though it isn’t even just about public displays of affection; I think that I grew up in a family—a village even, perhaps—where displaying affection wasn’t really a thing. Sure, I knew my parents loved me, but it felt like it was a love out of duty. Hugging wasn’t a thing we did. Shoulder pats and ‘work well done’ reminders weren’t really a thing. I feel that I’ve had to learn to be a whole different person with Dom and, in some way, even though it’s been years, I’m still working on it.

I know that he grew up surrounded by affectionate people, he has no issues with hugging me and reminding me that it’s okay to want to hug him back and kiss him and so many other things. I’ve tried so hard to wrap my mind around it all and while there are days when it’s easy, on other days, it’s exhaustingly difficult.

I can’t even put into words how frustrated I feel most of the time when I find myself wanting to express to him how much he means to me in ways that don’t involve words and I draw a blank on how I’m supposed to go at it. At times, all I might need is just a little push, but that push is often enough really hard to find.

We live on our own here in this little nook. We’re hours away from the nearest village and it suits both of us fine. It means I can be more open about displaying my affection and love for him but then I hit these walls when I’m trying to find means of showing that very affection and there’s no one to give me a push in the right direction.

I know Dom understands my issues and he works with me on trying to still adapt to it all but just the same, I don’t even know how he still has the patience, years down the road. Loving this man so much hurts at times but I feel as though it’s necessary. I want to be at his side until the end of all things. I never really thought I’d feel this way and it’s possibly why I went such a great distance away from where I grew up. I felt that there was just something amiss back there; I didn’t know what it was, but there was something missing and escaping was my only answer, in the end.

I have no regrets. None. I would sail this far from home all over again if it meant I get to meet Domnan again and again. If it means I get to have the best teacher that I can ever imagine—in my very humble and biased opinion—who will have the patience necessary with me so that I can make my own path into this brand new world of emotions and feelings I never had before in my life.

My life is as good with him there as it will ever be and that is all that matters. We are learning together still, and I think that we’ll keep on learning for a very long time to come.

Final Word Count: 808

I’m not letting anyone fight for me! I’ll fight for myself.

 
Timeline/World: Newfound Worlds – Chiera: Summer
Characters: Atheri Theus
Race: Chieran
Age: 35
Current residence: Molian, Shaynor
Final Word Count: 767 words
 

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Things have generally been peaceful for a while. I can’t complain. The weather has been calm, though there was a storm a couple of weeks ago and one small fishing boat washed up ashore not very far from our cabin. It looked battered but old as though it had been on the water for weeks, perhaps even years. I doubt that anyone had been using it during the storm. Anyone that lives by the water knows to take care of their boats, in the end.

We still go to the village every now and again as we need. It’s a long trip but one that I can’t complain about. It allows us to exchange goods with the villagers and change our menus up a bit. We do grow most of our own food but fish after fish after more fish does tend to get a bit repetitive now and again. I feel as though changes are, well, good.

I had expected our last trip to the village to be quite like most of the others. With little excitement and that tends to suit me well. I’ve had enough excitement just getting away from my old village that I can appreciate all things calm and quiet. Why is there any need for more than that? I have always liked to keep to myself, and it was, now and again, at the source of mild arguments with Dom until we both realized we were being idiots.

That last trip was filled with more excitement than I’d have cared for. When we stepped up, there was something akin to a festival going on. We’d checked the calendar we keep, and we hadn’t been anywhere near the festivals we knew the village was quite fond of, so stepping up to the place only to find everything decorated and everyone near the square was more than a little unexpected.

So we moved to the side streets so we could find a spot to settle. The village is a fair distance from where we’ve settled, and we usually take a lot of stuff with us when we come. It wasn’t as simple as a small bag slung over the shoulder. Through these side streets, we came upon a small group of teenagers where one was clearly being bullied and one was trying to protect the boy in question, but the boy being bullied kept on flailing and stating that he refused to have anyone fight for him, he’d fight for himself.

It made me shake my head a little. I suppose that no matter where you might end up, bullying will always happen. It seems almost inevitable, in a way. It is just one of those sad facts of life. I wish it wasn’t so, kids—and adults alike—don’t need that kind of thing in their lives but it’s up to every person to do their part to stop that. Everyone needs to be educated on why it’s such an issue but somehow, I don’t think that most elders care much about it. They have bigger things to focus on, or so they must tell themselves.

It took us a while to find our way to the market. Every main road was blocked because of this new and unusual festival that was going on. We’d come to the village at this very time last year and this hadn’t been a thing, so we were both fairly confused.

If nothing else, at the very least, once we’d made it to the market—both tired and hungry—it was easy enough to exchange our wares, as we usually do. The usual stalls were open and there were a lot of people about but most of the festival seemed to be centred in the streets themselves more than the market.

Somehow, making our way back out onto the main road outside of the village took us longer than it had to get inside. More and more people were coming in, dancing, waving flags about and just, I still have no idea what it was about and neither of us wanted to stay to figure things out. We’d come out of necessity and hadn’t planned on staying long. At another time, we’d have stayed, asked questions, maybe even participated a little, but on that particular day, I think we both just wanted to go back home and have quiet time to ourselves.

I need to prepare myself mentally, when faced with big groups and gatherings like this and I just wasn’t ready and I honestly think that Dom was a bit overwhelmed too, in the end.

My luck has never been that great. You have to be behind this. Right?

 
Timeline/World: Newfound Worlds – Chiera: Summer
Characters: Atheri Theus
Race: Chieran
Age: 34
Final Word Count: 656 words
 

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I have never truly believed in a higher power, not in the way some others do. I believe that our magic—that is, the magic of the planet and the small amount of it that resides in all of us—is enough of a ‘higher power’ in itself that there possibly isn’t something more out there.

Just the same, I don’t much believe in luck, but, on that same note as well, I’m not usually one to think that things predestined. Telling someone that something happened for a reason can be hurtful in ways that have no words. Someone’s mother dies; do you tell that person that their mother died for a reason? I believe this is mainly why I believe that things are not predestined. We make our own way, we select our own path and we make things our own.

Now, certainly, when I manage more than just a good catch while I’m out on the water, I do spare a quick thank you to the water; I might not believe in a deity of any real sort but I do believe that being grateful for nature in itself is a good way to go about things. I figure that nature is bountiful, if we take care of nature, nature will, in turn, take care of us.

Does that mean that I believe nature to have a spirit of sorts and is a higher power? No.

I could go on and on about these particular thoughts and I’d rather not. I know that some believe in a higher power and others don’t. It’s source to plenty of heated discussions in the halls of knowledge, I’ve been there.

All of this because, a few days ago, we were at the cabin, as we tend to go at least once a month. I was walking along the beach and I assume it was a father-son pair who was standing at the far edge of the pier. They were fishing, as most who come to this spot tend to and I hear the older one of the two exclaim that his luck had never been that great and, looking to the younger one at his side, gave him a bright smile and told him that it had to be because they were together but oh, the younger one, barely more than a boy really, he shook his head and started telling the man that no, it wasn’t him but the all-seeing and I just kept on walking.

That someone so young seems enamoured with the idea of an all-powerful being is beyond me. Most of those I grew up around, they didn’t believe in these things and while I know that it’s quite possible that other groups out there believe otherwise, I still have a hard time understanding why anyone would fill the head of someone so young with these things.

I’m sure that I must look like a barbarian to the believers but I am as I am. I’d rather just believe still that if we take care of nature, nature will, in turn, take care of us. If we don’t burn down forests or overfish, there will be more fishes in the water for us to enjoy and the forests will keep on growing. Living as we do, it’s a give-give sort of situation. You can’t expect the land to keep on giving if you don’t give in turn, it really is that simple.

Sure, many will do what they will, it’s one of the reasons why I left my home in the first place and I haven’t looked back since. Leaving was the best decision I’ve ever made, even though it wasn’t exactly an easy one. Travelling to the other continents when you’re used to the water, but never have ventured as far as I did, it was terrifying but I’d do it all over again, no questions asked. I would.

Maybe wearing bright colours on a stealth mission isn’t a good idea.

 
Timeline/World: Edge of Forever – Chiera: Summer
Characters: Atheri Theus
Race: Chieran
Age: 33
Final Word Count: 625 words
 

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“Shhhhhh!”

“You shushing me just proves that this is a stealth—mmph!” Atheri rolls his eyes and looks towards the teen at his side, his hand over his brother’s mouth and a sheepish smile over his lips. The older man shrugs and shakes his head, peering out to the distance. The whole thing had nothing to do with a stealth mission, he was wearing bright colours because they looked good on him and he’d been preparing to head out onto the water, so this wasn’t all that different from his usual outfit. Though he was pretty sure the bright colour comments had been meant more from one brother to the other than to him.

“Remind me why you two dragged me into this?” He keeps his words low, figuring that he might as well since they were clearly trying to keep this whole thing quiet. He’d been on his way to his boat when Caillen had burst out of the bushes, Aiath chasing him. Both had taken a tumble down the small slope, wrestling over some slight item and Atheri had seen to separating them when it was clear they wouldn’t stop any time soon.

That had been almost half an hour ago. Aiath had been tight-lipped about the whole ordeal, shooting his twin dirty looks every time Caillen opened his mouth to say anything on the subject. Instead of getting any information at all about the whole thing, he’d been dragged along by Caillen and a slightly sullen Aiath.

They weren’t far from one of the many homes scattered not too far from the shore, high on the hill so that the high tide could cause no damage. All three of them were hiding behind a row of large bushes and Aiath still had his mouth clamped over Caillen’s mouth. Atheri was getting a little tired of all of the mystery that had nothing to do with him and he only wanted to get back to his boat so that he had something fresh to trade in the mid-afternoon rush at the market.

That’s what you get for lazing about this morning, settled close to him and just breathing in the scent of him. The memory pulls a soft sigh of content from him and for a moment he forgets that they seem to be waiting for someone to step out of the house. Rolling his eyes as that particular thought comes back to him, he shoots the twin another look, still trying to understand why he was dragged along, and instead of asking, he simply moves back to his feet and steps away, earning a startled sound from Aiath.

It doesn’t matter, is what he tells himself. This has nothing to do with him and he knows that eventually, Caillen will be back at his doorstep to explain whatever it was the whole thing was about. Aiath might have been the soft-spoken one of the two but Caillen is the one with the people’s skill. The one who knows how to handle others and usually get what he wants.

If this false stealth mission is what he figures, as is, he wants nothing to do with it. He’s old enough to not want to be part of some teenager’s ‘stake out’ of a girl’s home to try and find more about her because they’re interested. As he walks away, he hears the heated whispered discussion of the twins but tunes them out, merely making his way back along the path they’d followed. All he wants is his boat so he can do a bit of fishing and then spend a few hours at the market, getting a few things in exchange for the catches he knows he’ll be bringing back.

This was no accident. It couldn’t have been.

Timeline/World: Chiera: Summer
Characters: Atheri Theus
Race: Chieran
Age: 32
Final Word Count: 564 words

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Why did they still insist on doing this? It was heartbreaking, watching all the dead fish as it just floated on the water. People were worried that we were going to have to venture further out into the water to fish because of lack of fish around our usually fishing grounds but then others went and did this. I didn’t know what they’d dumped into the water but they claimed it was an accident, this wasn’t what they’d been planning, they’d only wanted to sample the water and see what they could find out, discover why the fishes no longer came to us.

I could see through their lies too easily but I could only keep my mouth shut, it wasn’t my place to tell them what to do. The elders would have to deal with them but all these fishes, uneaten, floating on top of the water, their flesh likely no longer edible, it was such a huge waste of potential food that it made me sick to my stomach and I’ve always had a pretty strong stomach.

I should have gone with Domnan when he came by. His visit was brief but it had left a mark on me, in my soul. His beliefs were aligned with mine almost from the start and I admit that his smile was enough to leave me breathless. I’ve never believed in love at first sight but I think he should have been it for me. I shouldn’t have let him go, not on his own at the very least. I knew he had gone to one of the smaller islands but I had no idea as to which ones and their number were staggering, I could be out looking for him for years without finding him.

Ilsame was their biggest continent, a mega-island setup of sorts and trying to find someone on the islands, unless you knew where you were going, was like trying to find a needle in a haystack and you couldn’t actually set the haystack on fire to try and find that needle. I was aware that it was likely a lost cause to try and locate the other man who had shared my beliefs. Staying where I was, however, was turning out to be the one thing I could no longer do. It made no sense that I was forced to put my life on the line because other people were idiots and overfishing.

I’d spent moons feeling frustrated about my decision to stay behind when Domnan had left. It had made no sense, back then, to follow a man I knew nearly nothing of, a man who made my heart speed up and breath catch but still, a man I’d known nothing about and a man so much younger than me. Six years was a large gap for most people on Barran and I was more than a little tired of being reminded of that particular fact, of the fact that I should have selected a wife at this point, should have had a child of my own if not four or five.

That mindset was stupid. We were running out of means to have enough food to feed all the villagers but still, they rant and rave about the need for large families, for marriages, for everything that will only make life more difficult.

I need to leave.