There’s no one here to help either of us and we should accept that.

Timeline/World: Edge of Forever – Shifting Sands
Current Date: December 9, 2022

Character: Sacha Waíhts
Race: Human – Genetically Modified
Age: 35, physically about 20
Current residence: Prince George, British Columbia
 

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It’s been two years. Give or take a week or two, a few extra days, some hours, minutes, and seconds. Two years since not only my daughter but my husband was taken from me. Where do I go from here? We’d just moved. We’d mostly unpacked within that first month, but I lived with boxes littered everywhere for the next five after he was gone. It took me half a year to begin slowly putting away the things that had been his versus the things that were mine.

There was a pile in the middle of things that I did use now and again but that had mostly been his and, since then, those have been brought back into my pile, if you would. Within another month, I had cleared the house out. What was his, has been moved into a storage unit. I spoke with the man who handles our finances, and he told me about this one place where I could pick up a sort of contract. For five years and a much smaller fee than I had expected, I can keep River’s things there. I feel that keeping his things for five years, just as an in-case, though I know better. After five years, I might be able to better go through everything and from there, we’ll see.

During those painful months of grief, I found myself unable to eat properly though I still made myself do it. I found myself trying to stop the tears from coming but they wouldn’t. I don’t know how many hours I spent staring in that mirror, aware of the myths of vampires being unable to be seen on reflective surfaces but I saw my River every time he was there with me. I’ve lost count of how often I prayed to whatever would hear me, to bring him back to me and all I got for it in answer was when my exhausted brain would show a shimmer of his presence just above my shoulder in that mirror. His tired words telling me that there was no one that would help either of us and that we had to accept it.

I’m not sure where that came from. It felt bitter and tasted just as so in the back of my mouth, but I think that it was more or less at that point that I had finally made up my mind that I had to start climbing my way back up, otherwise I was going to waste away and I couldn’t do that to Rowan. He’d lost as much as I had, and he was doing better than I ever managed. With his visits and a new, exhausted resolve, I slowly turned things around.

The house was too big. I spoke with the agent who had helped us with this one and within a few weeks, I was in a slightly different neighbourhood but in a smaller, more manageable house. When we’d first moved into the bigger one, we’d kept in mind that Rowan and Yue would possibly visit every so often, so we had need for a guest room. Then there were rooms downstairs that River had claimed as his own but in the month that we’d lived there, he hadn’t had time to do anything with them.

This new house—fresh, with no memories of the past except my own—is just right in size. A comfortable kitchen with room to move around, a cozy living room, two bedrooms—when Rowan does visit—and a side room that I’ve turned into my keep-the-hands-occupied room. I’ve realized that the more I kept my hands busy, the more my mind was at ease. So, I’ve started making things. They’re not perfect, some are a little crooked and it took time to learn, but the neighbourhood seems to love the little things I make, and I now even have a short waiting list for garments and trinkets they want to buy.

A year and a half ago, I told myself that I would possibly look for a job, mostly to keep my mind occupied, but now, with these hooks between my fingers and the yarn slipping through, quiet music playing and living a life mostly during the daytime—this took some adapting time too—I think that I’ll be all right. I’m not happy, I don’t think I’ll be happy for a very long time yet, but I’m not unhappy. There is still a very painful void in my life, but I think that, for the most part, I’m going to be all right. That’s all there is to be said about that.

Do I miss his presence in bed when I go to sleep? Yes, that hasn’t gone anywhere. Do I miss the sound of him moving around the house? Just the same, I think it’s why I always have quiet music or just nature noises playing from a small computer setup in the corner of the living room. The area is almost central to the house, and it helps make sure that sound carries. I’m adapting. It’s all I can do.

Final Word Count: 854

Ask and you shall receive… nothing because I don’t have that.

 
Timeline/World: Edge of Forever – Shifting Sands
Characters: Sacha Waíhts
Race: Human – Genetically Modified
Age: 33, physically about 20
Current residence: Prince George, British Columbia
Final Word Count: 801 words
 

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I still can’t explain what happened or how it did. All I know is that I feel as though something with a higher power is laughing its head off at me as I try to pick up the pieces of my life to try and put it back together. Several things happened just a month after we had moved that I still can’t wrap my head around though I’ve tried. There is a hollow in my heart and in my life and no amount of praying to whatever entity might listen gets me an answer.

As though somehow, they are giving me this sardonic smile and telling me that I can absolutely ask them for them, but I’ll receive… nothing because they can’t do that and yet, they led me to believe they could do such things; does that make any sense? It makes sense to my grieving brain, and it is the only thing I have so I will keep on clinging to it.

Just a month after we’d moved and I’d finally started to try and settle in, a call came about how Yue had just up and disappeared and had yet to come back. That wasn’t altogether unusual, she liked to go on random, unplanned trips but, usually, she would go with Rowan and that would be that. This time around, she’d somehow left without telling anyone and that had been a week back.

Needless to say, with Yue missing, Rowan had called to let River know that he was going on a find-Yue search and rescue. I know that he’d called mostly just to tell us but, River being River, he took the car, told me that he’d call every night to let me know how things were going and he went to help. If anyone could find her, it would be these two.

He was gone for a week, he called every night as he got back up from his daily sleep and before he went searching.

After a week, the line went silent, so to speak.

After another week, Rowan was knocking on my door, looking like death warmed over and I knew that there was nothing left. I just knew it. I offered him to stay as the mourning took place and he did, for a month or so. After that, he told me that he had to go back to deal with things back home where he and Yue had lived. He called once a day for a month or so, we mostly just took comfort in those calls and after that, we went from daily, to once a week and even now, six months later, we still talk once a week, but we do so via the computer and video calls. He’s lost some weight, but I’ve seen some life come back into his eyes. I think he’ll be all right.

During those moments when I’d be alone—the nights were the hardest, it was when I spent my time with River—I’d rave and rant, begging for them to come back, my prayers unanswered. I hadn’t found a job yet, I hadn’t had time though I knew I didn’t really need one. The house feels too big for just one person to live in, but I can’t bring myself to move out. I have finally, however, managed to will myself to begin clearing out some of his things. I know that once I’m done, the house will be near empty.

What is mine alone still is mostly nothing but clothing after all. I will put the albums back on a shelf together. They can stay. There is no need to get rid of them and that would just be stupid, anyway. I know how to handle the payments on everything, I have access to the account where the money is, I know who the man River was dealing with, for the money that is set aside and I’ve spoken with him plenty about things to try and bring myself up to speed on the things I know I’ll need to know.

There still is such a deep, soul-sucking void in my life. I’ve cried so hard that I don’t think there are any tears left in me to cry. I have lost both my daughter and my husband at the same time and there is no bringing them back. Rowan visits every other month and stays for a couple of days before he goes back over. I know I could do the same but as I don’t drive, my other option would be to go by bus, and I don’t know how long the drive would take. I possibly could manage it in just half a day, maybe.

I’ll have to talk to him about it the next time he comes.

There’s no way you can steal something that big. People would notice for sure!

 
Timeline/World: Edge of Forever – Shifting Sands
Characters: Sacha Waíhts
Race: Human – Genetically Modified
Age: 33, physically about 20
Final Word Count: 709 words
 

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I was so sad when I told Denise that I’d been transferred elsewhere. It was a little white lie, I’d found a job elsewhere but after nine years at the same place and still looking exactly the same I had when I’d first been hired, I knew I’d had to find elsewhere before long. I had liked that job. Denise had been a sweetheart and hearing about her kids had always made my day. It also made it easier to deal with the other administrative worker who still refused to even look my way after nine years.

One of the last stories she told me had been about her youngest. She’d turned five not long before I’d left and Denise had told me that little Felicia had created a whole large world of make-believe in which villains would try to outdo one another by stealing the biggest thing they could get their hands on and she would stop them before they managed to get anywhere. At that age, Denise told me, her other kids had been busier playing castle and tea parties rather than villains trying to steal something so big that everyone would notice games.

We promised to stay in touch and while I intend to, I know I won’t be able to after a little while, not really. River had planned for us to actually move to another city. That baffled me in and of itself, we’d always lived in this house and I had been certain that the house itself belonged to his family but he’d somehow decided that it was time to find another city altogether and move. I wasn’t going to argue with him.

I let him do the looking for a home; he knew, better than me, what to look for. I just went about cleaning things and packing up what could already be packed up. I didn’t know how long it would be until we were ready to move but there were so many things that we just didn’t use as was. It was almost tempting to sell plenty of these things but I didn’t think he’d agree. Despite the fact that we’ve been together for as long as we have, most of what is in the house is his. I believe that, of the things we had, most things I could call my own were all of my clothes. Everything else was his.

Instead of thinking too much about it, I just packed up and, within two months, we were on the road. It took three days to get to our destination because driving had to be done between certain hours and it just gave me time to appreciate what I could of the dark scenery as it drifted on by. We made good time because the roads were more or less empty at night too, of course.

The new house is bigger than the old one but I miss the pond. Not that I had gone swimming there since Yue had moved out. She had claimed it as her spot while growing up and I was happy to let her have it though I enjoyed swimming. We do have a pool, however. It’s not quite the same as the pond but I suppose it does the job well enough. We have neighbours on either side but the back is wide open. I think it took longer to unpack than it did to pack because I kept on being distracted by everything and nothing in the new house. I tried to mostly unpack ever silently during the day while River was sleeping so that he wouldn’t have to worry about things while he was awake at night.

That might have been what made it take so long. I’d unpack a few things, get distracted by something new and I’d lose track of time, go back for something else and repeat the process. The amused look River gave me let me know that he had expected a similar behaviour out of me so I’m not going to change things. I’ve settled in a little at this point. In a month or so more, I’ll see about finding a new job in this place. I’m hoping to find something interesting to keep myself busy with.

This cruel world has already chewed me up and spit me out.

 
Timeline/World: Edge of Forever – Shifting Sands
Characters: Sacha Waíhts
Race: Human – Genetically Modified
Age: 32, physically about 20
Final Word Count: 697 words
 

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Children can be such overdramatic little buggers that you wonder what you’re supposed to do with them. At least, what’s what I’m told.

Yue grew up so quickly because of her mixed genes that twelve years after her birth, she was looking, acting and, generally speaking, she was an adult in every which way. I felt like I missed out on a lot of things as far as kids are concerned but I don’t know that I would want to go back in time about it. I don’t know that I would want to change anything.

One of my coworkers, her name is Denise, she’s a mother of four, her youngest is three, one is five, one is eight and one is twelve. We often share our lunch hour together and she’s been telling me the most adorable stories about her oldest who has always been all about acting and dancing and drama.

Just a few weeks ago, she was telling me about how Leone had come out of his room with an armful of stuffing that he was dropping bits and pieces of as he went. As he made it into the kitchen where she was preparing their dinner, he dropped the rest of the stuffing, plopped himself on the floor and declared that the ever-cruel world that was theirs had already chewed him up and spit him out.

I think it took all of her willpower for her to not start laughing at him though that might have been what he was after. Just the way she tells the story makes it sound like it must have been one of the most amusing things to witness and I wonder what it would have been like if Yue had been that way at all.

She was always a quiet child, never really demanding anything. I don’t remember her throwing tantrums though she often asked why River didn’t always have the same schedule we did. I tried to give her a ‘normal’ schedule so she’d be able to be around other people but it was hit-and-miss.

Another time, Denise was telling me about how Antonio, her eight-year-old, had painted a picture that had been as big as he was—though not a difficult feat since he’s actually such a slight child—but that he’d demanded that it be placed on the fridge like every other drawing the family had done recently.

That, of course, proved to be a problem and Denise said that it took a whole lot of careful manoeuvering to figure out how to fix that particular ‘issue’. Antonio sulked his parents for close to a full day about it and it still is a bit of a sore spot, I’m told.

There’s just so much to be lived through with children as they grow up. The idea of having a second child has briefly crossed my mind but I don’t know that it would be a wise idea. The first child was a beautiful accident, since neither one of us can carry a child, and asking for someone from the ‘outside’ to help with such a task is something that wouldn’t be looked upon well, I know.

I suppose I don’t mind so much. I think I’m living a potential revival of parenthood with Denise and it’s been a blast. She just has so many stories to tell. I’m glad she didn’t turn her nose up at me when I first started this job. The other woman on the team, whose name I’m not even going to say, still refuses to talk to me unless she absolutely has to and I’ve been here for almost eight years now. Eight years. You would think that I’d have managed to somehow make it past the ‘ignore the weirdo’ part, but no.

What saddens me is that I know that before too long, I’m likely going to have to find another job, unless I somehow bring it up that I’m not quite all human. I’m not the only non-human on the team but there are not a lot of us here yet and I’m not sure how they feel about us. Time will tell.

It has come to my attention that I have yet to complain about everything and I am determined to fix that.

Timeline/World: Almost Timeless
Characters: Sacha Waíths
Race: Human – Modified
Age: 30, physically about 20
Final Word Count: 595 words

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Humans are confusing. At least, some of the humans I’ve met are confusing. I suppose I might get a few eyes rolled at me considering I am human. Was human? I no longer truly am human though I suppose I might still be seen as human for the most part though I don’t age, not like humans do. I don’t know when I might die if I will die. I don’t know that I ever will get sick. There are many things that have been changed within me that make me believe that while I may still look human, I no longer truly am.

I work like others do; it is a necessity of being alive. I know I could go through life without working, River would see to our well-being but I would rather do my part. Our daughter no longer needs our help with day-to-day things despite the fact that she was born all of about twelve years ago. Her mixed heritage made her grow up so much more quickly than I ever was thought possible and she looks and acts my age now. As though somehow she was my sister more than my daughter.

My job consists mostly of sitting at a desk, filing paperwork, calling clients and dealing with clients face to face. Somewhat. It’s more complicated than that but the bare facts of the jobs are more or less these. Normally, most clients are quiet, they mind their own business until they’re called to see the person they came to see but some… well some are nightmares. Just a few days ago, there was this client, a wealthy woman, who came to talk to her insurance broker about needing to change a few things in her policy.

Mind you, this is all information I need to have so I can direct her to the proper person and so I can make sure appointments are happening on time and all of that rot. The moment she came inside, I knew she was going to be trouble. For now thing, she hadn’t called to set up an appointment. The brokers don’t see anyone without appointments; they’re so busy they don’t have time for ‘walk-in’ clients. She comes up to my desk and demands to see her broker. I let her know that he’s in a meeting right now and has meetings scheduled for the rest of his day, so that if she would like to speak to him, she would have to schedule an appointment to do so.

From that moment on, it’s all downhill. She complains that he’s never there to talk to her, that he doesn’t answer his calls or his emails—which I know a fact he does both and almost religiously so—she complains that we’re not doing our job properly and she should be able to see him right this second, it’s just all the little things and all I can do is let her rant at this point. It’s like someone flipped a switch and she has to complain about everything. I mean… she even complained about the fact that the carpet was deep blue and she hated it, claiming we’d picked that colour just to spite her.

I couldn’t finish dealing with my day quickly enough. I just wanted out of that office and the half hour she spent at my desk just complaining about everything made me lose what little appetite I’d worked up as I’d thought about what dinner was going to be.

Why are there even people like that?