If I weren’t so scared of you, I’d have pushed you off that high horse of yours ages ago.

Timeline/World: Until Tomorrow – Foreign Songs – Over the Rainbow
Current Date: January 4, 2024

Character: Sasha Pajari
Race: Human
Age: 34
Current residence: Moscow, Russia
 

---

I wonder if it’s strange that I feel as though I know what it’s like to be a parent now? I mean, not in a deep sense of the word. I have watched the twins grow up in a way. I’ve seen them nearly daily from the time they were old enough to go to school, mostly just in the sense of watching them head to either their bus stops in the mornings or, a little later on in life in the afternoons, watching them walk on by to head to the community centre.

I’ve seen more of Yerik than I have seen Alena in the last two years. The twins used to be just so close, but they’ve drifted apart; it happened little by little but I’m fairly certain that the reason it did happen was Tusya’s presence at Yerik’s side. That and, well, the fact that Alena’s brain has turned to boys-boys-boys, and I’ve watched what was possibly the final fallout at the community centre not this summer, but the one before.

Yerik has always been a soft-spoken boy, a wonderful young man now, helped greatly by Tusya’s refusal to take any bullshit. Alena seemed to show no interest in Tusya’s present from the get-go, I can only assume she left it be because he wasn’t making any waves in hers and her brother’s life but oh, when the confession happened, so did the changes.

I was spending some time at the centre to help out in the way that I tend to do because it makes me feel useful when the couple walked in. Yerik’s parents seem to have opened up to the acceptance of their son, at least that I’ve heard about. He still doesn’t spend much time home that I’ve noticed but if he’s happy, he’s allowed to.

Alena came into the community centre not long after the pair did. For once in who knows how long, she was actually alone. Since her transfer back into her brother’s school, that girl discovered herself in a sexual way that makes me uncomfortable, and I’m not even related to her. I think I relate more to the poor boys she just strings along.

Anyway. She made a beeline right for her brother and Tusya and, well, I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but hearing Yerik tell his sister that if he hadn’t so scared of her, he’d have pushed her off that high horse of hers ages ago was not it. He sounded so sure of himself, his voice was just so sharp, and I had to ask myself if it hadn’t been Tusya who’d said those words, but that kid has never been impressed by Alena in any way, shape or form. It was almost as though she didn’t even exist to him. She did exist in some way since she was his now-boyfriend’s twin, but that was it.

I did wait until she had stormed off—which didn’t take long—to check in on the boys. They didn’t really need me to, but confrontations like these do need to be checked up on just to ensure that all parties are okay. There have been others before that turned to blows, so it’s just one of those things.

Yerik looked shaken and wouldn’t even look at me as I approached them. He was hiding away against Tusya’s shoulder and I mostly, quietly so, spoke to the latter who told me that for the last few weeks, Alena had tried—fruitlessly—to somehow tempt Tusya into her bed. If Yerik’s reaction hadn’t been so heartbreaking just then, I think I would have laughed at the absurdity of it all.

By that point, I’d been well aware that Alena now seemed to think herself the greatest gift ever and that she could tempt anyone into her bed, but that she’d tried with Tusya at all is beyond absurd. For one, these two boys—young men at this point, really—have only had eyes for one another since they confessed their love, and, well, I’ve spoken to Tusya a few times and I know for a fact that he has no interest whatsoever in the other gender.

One way or another, Alena was out of luck, she was an idiot, and I have seen her even less since that day. It’s sad, in a way, but at the same time, it’s a good thing that Yerik has finally put his foot down as far as his sister is concerned. This is why I feel as though I might let myself believe that I know what it feels like to be a parent, in a way. I’m proud of Yerik and I know that these two are going to be together for a while yet.

Are they going to be together until the end of all time? I don’t know. But for now, they’re just wonderfully sweet together.

Final Word Count: 821

I have never seen a sleeping position that looked more uncomfortable than that.

 
Timeline/World: Darkness of Space – Beyond Eternity
Characters: Sasha Pajari
Race: Dragon – Water
Age: 32, physically about 20
Current residence: Seutera, Anadeia Continent, Novis
Final Word Count: 853 words
 

---

It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year and a half since he’s passed. Perhaps closer to two years than the half marker but the statement remained, and it really was strange. It wasn’t even that the house was so much quieter, not with the little ones that I knew were about as teenagers in age as they ever could be. They hadn’t grown at all in the span of nearly three years and this was one of the few things that I did know about our breeds is that within those first few crucial years of life, we tended to grow in size fairly quickly. Even just at four or five years of age, had they been anything other than a type of pygmy, they should have been at least up to our hips while on all four and that was far from the case.

At most, the taller one of the group was up to the middle of my calf and the others were not far behind. I remember Kail telling me about something in a book that Kyle had had in his things; a mention of something called dogs and that the little ones we now lived with were a bit like that; there were plenty of sizes to dogs, but these could have been considered small-sized.

In a way, I think that both of us know that before too long, these little ones will be on their way. They needed someone to look out for them as they grew up until a point when they were mature enough to leave and I think that in a year, maybe two, possibly even less, they’ll be gone. I don’t know that I would want them to leave but we can’t force them to stay.

The lot of them usually sleep in the living room, sprawled all over the floor and furniture. Some, more than others, very early on decided that they were not going to sleep anywhere else but the floor which, in a way I guess is not all that unexpected when I take into consideration that Kail found them while he’d been wandering a cave system a distance off. They probably hadn’t known much different. We still tried to make them as comfortable as possible, though. Some of the others took over the couch and one had even decided that its place was on the little table that sat not far from the couch.

I can’t complain about the fact that none of them actually took over our bed; I don’t know that I could have handled it. I like having the bed just to ourselves, though getting used to Kyle no longer being there hurt. We did get used to it, at least, I’d like to think we did. We haven’t gone back to his bedroom, the secondary one suits us just fine.

A few nights ago, I couldn’t really sleep which, in a way, I guess isn’t all that unexpected; there are nights when I just have a hard time sleeping and it takes me up until the middle of the night to be able to drift off. To not keep Kail awake, I stepped from our bedroom, and I moved into the kitchen first; I’ve discovered that a warm drink usually helps me.

While sipping on that warm drink, I quietly roamed the house. It’s always nice to watch the little ones sleep. They’re peaceful, not disturbing anything, being sweet little darlings. That’s not to say they’re usually not little darlings but on certain days, neither Kail nor myself know how to handle their abundant energy.

On that particular night, though, I found two sleeping in such an odd position that it made me pause. I had to look at them for a while to make sense of the tangled pile they were in, because whatever sleeping position they had settled in, it looked more uncomfortable than anything I’d ever realized. It took me too long—my brain was starting to slow down in preparation for proper sleep, I think—to realize why they were as tangled as they had been.

That particular little tidbit is something I almost wanted to wake Kail to mention but I waited until the following morning. He was as baffled by the potential of what I told him as I had been. I don’t think either one of us ever took into consideration that they eventually would be mature enough to, well, procreate. In our minds, their small size still is reminiscent of them being young but since we’re both pretty sure of them being pygmy, I think we just hadn’t really connected all of the information together.

So far, nothing seems to have come of it, and we’ve kept a somewhat closer eye on things, just to be sure. Certain dragons—from book knowledge on my part and Kail informing me, more than personal experience—dragons can get fairly territorial when they get to that part of their lives, so some of them might leave us sooner than we expect.

We’ll get to that when it happens, though.

Wow. I spent two days making that for you, only to find it in the trash thirty minutes later. I’m actually speechless.

 
Timeline/World: Until Tomorrow – Foreign Songs – Over the Rainbow
Characters: Sasha Pajari
Race: Human
Age: 31
Current residence: Moscow, Russia
Final Word Count: 786 words
 

---

Two new songs and a playlist with older songs that were both mine and not, is what it took for Tusya to confess to Yerik. I’ve watched them fumble a whole lot with things since, but it’s been sweet to watch them together. Now, don’t start calling me a creeper, I just know that Yerik’s parents aren’t exactly comfortable with the idea of their son not being wholly straight, though they try, and the boys don’t spend all that much time together at either house, as I know it.

They usually spend a bit more time at the youth centre in our neighbourhood and I like to volunteer there now and again, so it’s not all that unusual that we’ve crossed paths quite often and Tusya keeps on shooting me grateful looks, now and again. He hasn’t come to me outright to tell me that the songs and playlist have helped but I’d like to think that they have. He’s sharp, this one.

Alena, on her end, has been dealing with drama worthy of high school and it makes me shake my head a little. From what little more I’ve learned of things, the school her parents used to send her to until they transferred her to her brother’s own, was an all girls’ school and she hadn’t made many friends. In this new school—this I’ve learned more from a somewhat amused Yerik—she has found herself quite the circle of friends but, most of all, quite the circle of admirers.

Now, I have nothing against that, certainly not. So long as she’s not leading any of them on and to a dead-end—if you know what I mean—isn’t really cause for concern. Anyone as pretty as she is, because I can admit that she’s pretty, even if I’m old enough to almost be her father and I have no interest in women, would find plenty of potential suitors ready to sweep her away.

The one thing that I do deplore is that she seems to delight in doing just that. I’ve seen her spend time at the youth centre about as much as I’ve seen her twin, but not once was she with the same boy and it was clear with her every visit that she was quite close to each of the boys and not simply in an emotional way. Not even in an emotional way on her part, honestly. She’s doing to these boys the near-exact thing Nadya had accused her brother of doing and yet, he wasn’t. It just makes me a little sad.

All in all, I know it’s none of my business. I know that these teens can do all they want, and I can’t do a thing about it. Maybe I’m just a sucker for a happy ending and I much prefer these happy endings to not have to deal with any potential cheating or leading on. I’ve had my heart broken a few times before Kail became a permanent part of my life and it was never a pleasant thing.

I used to think the twins were just both so sweet, especially Alena’s protective streak over her brother’s gentler nature but while he’s growing up quite well and maturing emotionally in a way that I feel is quite good, she’s turning into something of a bad apple. The last time I was at the centre, the teen she’d been with—a new face yet again that I couldn’t ever recall seeing before—looked fairly heartbroken. All I heard of their conversation was something about how he’d spent two days making something for her and yet, he’d found it in the trash just thirty minutes after their arrival at the centre.

In a way, as I don’t have both sides of the stories, I can’t really judge it for anything other than what I’ve heard but it still feels wrong, especially if you’re going to throw something away like that. If someone gives you something they’ve worked on, you could at least hold on to it until you can dispose of it somewhere they won’t find it, if you really don’t like it, or you just keep it.

Maybe it’s just in the way I was raised, I don’t know. I much prefer to be as upfront about things and tell people about how I’m either not interested or that I think it’s sweet they’ve made an effort on making something or other for me—this was much more common while I still toured—but that I’m not interested and that I wish them the best. Alena is plenty capable of speaking her mind, I’ve seen her do it often enough, this should be no different.

I’m allowed to judge you. I’m your closest friend, after all. If I don’t, who will?

 
Timeline/World: Darkness of Space – Beyond Eternity
Characters: Sasha Pajari
Race: Dragon – Water
Age: 30, physically about 20
Final Word Count: 713 words
 

---

The little ones haven’t grown much more since the last year and Sasha has started to tell himself that they are closer to the pygmy type that he had only ever heard of in legends than not. In a way, this makes him glad as the idea of seven more full-sized dragons in the home is something that he didn’t want to think about, not really.

Ten or so months back, their lives were changed forever and Sasha knows that nothing he can say or do will change what happened. They had been playing with the little ones as they had been swimming around the lake. All nine of them had been out there and Kyle stayed at the house as he hadn’t been feeling great. The little ones seemed to be judging one another’s swimming prowess, each waiting on the shore while one climbed the small hill that overlooked one side of the lake and jumping in. He was sure they were water dragons just as he was but, just the same, there was something different about them.

Every time one of them came from the water, the others would chatter at it a bit and the jumper would stand tall, head held high. It made him smile a little and he imagined that they were giving the jumper some points, or not, on the jump that had just been made. He saw them as a close family, as the best of friends and, well, as friends, they were the ones who could judge one another best, right?

At some point, as the sun began to set, Kail had rounded everyone up and they’d wandered back to the house. It had been dark, which hadn’t been all that surprising since Kyle had been resting when they’d left, but it had been hours and their human companion should have at least gotten up to get something to eat, a light or two should have been on.

Sasha had rounded the little ones and Kail had stepped inside to check out the house; this was a habit he’d picked up from Kyle himself. All of the rooms were clear, though Kyle still was in bed in the master bedroom. Once everyone had come back inside, Sasha had gone with Kail to look in on Kyle but it was clear that their human had left them. He could pick up the faint scent of death in the room; it was light but there. It couldn’t have been more than an hour or two at the very most.

Looking at the peaceful man on the bed, Sasha knew that their human had likely simply gone in his sleep, as most elder dragons tended to. What made his heart constrict—besides the loss of their human—was that Kyle had still been young, even by human standards. He had been fine and there had been no scent of sickness around him over the last few days or even weeks.

Yes, there had been a sense, more than a scent, of unease that had settled over Kyle but Sasha could remember that their human had been prone to migraines and only darkness and quiet had managed to keep them, that was one of the reasons why he had stayed at home on that day.

It only took them a few hours before they had a grave dug out and rocks piled in a cairn. It had been Kail’s idea to do the burial bit as Sasha would have simply let him go the way of the dragons, a pyre worthy of things but neither one of them knew how to manage fire in the natural way and getting everything together would have required more work than either one of them felt they had the energy to.

They stayed, after that.

Sasha hadn’t known as to what would happen once their human had gone. Would they have returned to nature, would they have stayed? There had been many options and, now, with Kyle gone and the little ones mature enough to behave when left on their own, Sasha often joined Kail when the other went to the market. After all, they had mouths to feed and food needed to be provided. They would do what they had to.

You latched onto anyone and everyone. How was I supposed to know that you were serious about me?

 
Timeline/World: Until Tomorrow – Foreign Songs – Over the Rainbow
Characters: Sasha Pajari
Race: Human
Age: 30
Final Word Count: 667 words
 

---

It’s difficult to believe that it’s been eight months since the issue with Yerik and Nadya’s older brother. On the outside, it doesn’t seem like that long. Time just flies on by most of the time as we keep busy with our work and our wares. I’ve been keeping an eye on the boy, however, I can’t help it. It’s not even that he reminds me of a younger me, I don’t have many memories of that time, but he does just make me feel as though I need to have a soft spot for him and Alena—his twin sister—is also a pretty sweet girl.

After Nadya sicced her older brother on Yerik, she more or less disappeared off of the face of the earth. I figure that has to be a good thing. I can’t imagine that Yerik and Alena’s parents would have wanted her anywhere near their son after everything that did happen. It took him weeks to heal from the beating he got and it would have been worse if I hadn’t been around but I take no pride in being able to stop it. If not for Kaleb, I would have landed in the hospital too.

Yerik’s luck with love seems to not be very good. I’ve seen a few different girls come and go over the last few months, never seeming to stay very long. I’ve spoken to him now and again and he seems to be trying to find himself. Among the girls that have come and gone, rarely the same girl twice, there has been one boy. Tusya lives in a complex not very far, though still not overly close as well. I have to imagine that they met up at school because the boys are so very different from one another and yet, it’s clear in the way Yerik looks at Tusya, though he might not realize it, that he has it bad for the other boy.

I’ve seen them spend time in the park not far from where we all live, it’s adorable, really. I just wish Yerik would realize what’s going on because, as far as I can tell, Tusya seems to be uncertain around him. I can’t blame him. He’s probably aware of all the girls that have come and gone from Yerik’s side since the issue with Nadya. I’d likely be unable to tell if someone was interested in me if I kept on seeing them latch one anyone and everyone. I know it’s not my place to say anything about it, it’s not. I wish it was but it’s just not.

These two boys are going to have to figure themselves out. They’ll have to stop and talk. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I can’t drop innocent little hints when I might cross their paths but I know that Kail would look at me crossly if I got involved in any real way. I can understand why he doesn’t want any of us involved with the teenagers and it’s fine. I’m not going to go out of my way, I’m not. I’m just going to do what’s best. Who’s to say I might not write a song with some subtly interesting and nudge-worthy lyrics in it and send it to them to listen to, under the guise of wanting to know their opinion?

After all, they both know that I do write music, it’s just my thing. It’s what keeps me sane when I feel as though there is nothing out there in the world for me to truly do and I’ve been told that I was good about hiding things in plain sight, so I might very well give that a go. Kail would likely just roll his eyes at me for that particular idea but he knows I’m only doing it to mean well. I want to see that kid happy and he deserves happiness after the beating he got because his ex-girlfriend was a jealous idiot.

Jealousy is one hell of a drug.

 
Timeline/World: Until Tomorrow – Over the Rainbow
Characters: Sasha Pajari
Race: Human
Age: 29
Final Word Count: 633 words
 

---

I’m grateful that we’re such a tight-knit group, I am.

I’ve watched so many families be torn apart by jealousy, it’s not a pretty sight and while some rejoice because of these, I think that these people are actually the worst there is. I know my way around drugs and what they do to people. Not because I’ve used them myself, though. Of our group, only Kail and me haven’t touched drugs but the others did, not out of choice. Their story is an ugly one and not mine to tell but the short version is that they all ended up at the same institute for a varying number of years and were not-always-willing test subjects for particular drugs.

That was a long, long time ago, though. It feels like a lifetime ago and they’re all sober but there are cravings at time, no matter how long ago that last hit was, and we do what we can to help when that happens so yeah, from listening to their stories and being there for the rare fall back into the habit, I’d like to say that I do know what drugs do to people.

Jealousy might not be a drug in the proper sense of the term but I’d like to think that it can be a drug of its own. It comes and goes as it pleases but when it gets hold of you, it doesn’t let go. Not easily. Jealousy changes people, much the way a lot of drugs do. Some get hit by the effects of jealousy really early on and some only feel it creep on them slowly but steadily. No matter how it gets to you, it’s unhealthy and ugly.

A few weeks ago, I saw a teenager get beaten up to a near pulp—I had to step in to stop them and that almost turned ugly and it would have if Kaleb hadn’t been with me—because his girlfriend at the time thought he was cheating on her with another girl. That’s the short story.

The long story was that this boy, Yerik and his twin sister Alena, for some reason were attending two separate schools, so they weren’t spending much time together while at school. Now, I know they’re twins because they don’t live far from us and I’ve seen them grow up together, it’s been quite an adventure. The twins weren’t attending the same school up until Alena was transferred into his own. I don’t know why, I haven’t asked, it’s just the things I know and see.

They’ve always been close, these two, at least while at home and surprisingly enough, Alena was the protective one over Yerik. If you add in Nadya to the mix, Yerik’s recent girlfriend who probably must not have known much about him if she didn’t know about his sister, things get ugly. I have to assume that Nadya saw Yerik come up to the school and leave it with his sister, it got her jealous, she probably wouldn’t listen to reason, and asked for her older brother to come and ‘teach’ Yerik a lesson. The rest, as they say, is history.

I only know about this much of the story because I stayed with the kid when they took him to the hospital. Kaleb stayed until the police officers dealt with Nadya’s brother and then went home on his own so he could tell the rest of our little family that I was fine but I was with our neighbour’s son at the hospital because of the whole issue.

This isn’t the first and only time I’ve seen jealousy do ugly things but I still feel like calling it a drug is one of those things because it fits. It’s sad, but it fits.

I’m good at a lot of things, but not this.

 
Timeline/World: Darkness of Space – Beyond Eternity
Characters: Sasha Pajari
Race: Dragon – Water
Age: 29, physically about 20
Final Word Count: 537 words
 

---

Learning to act like he was bipedal from the start was difficult. Learning to talk once the other dragon had found him was even more complicated.

He still learned; he adapted; he changed. He didn’t change completely though. At heart, he remains a dragon, one that needs to be out in the wild every now and again and one that needs to flop and swim around in a lake—or the tub most of the time if the weather does not permit—because water is part of who he is and being out of water for more than a few days makes his skin dry and itchy and make him feel ill. A sensation Sasha would rather not have to deal with unless he absolutely has to.

He’s learned to be good at a lot of things that other ‘normal’ people. There still is plenty he’s not so good at and that’s perhaps why, even ten years later, that he lets Kail and Kyle be the one to mingle in the market on the days when the trip is necessary. Sasha still is in awe of how well Kail has adapted to acting like he’s not a dragon when out in public.

It took years until Sasha understood why they had to act that way. Dragons were mostly extinct, most who remembered dragons thought of them as dangerous, vile creatures that couldn’t be trusted and should be terminated as quickly as possible. He still doesn’t understand why they think that way. He’s read through all of the books Kyle had brought back and devoured his way through all of the scrolls Kail had in his possession but he still doesn’t understand.

There is nothing in the books that state dragons as dangerous creatures. They were protective of their own and of their hoard—the ones that did hoard—and had been known to fight to the death to protect but that hardly made them bad creatures. That was the issue Sasha had trouble wrapping his mind around. He was protective of their keeper; Kyle kept them company and kept a roof over their heads, delicious food in their tummy and odd but comforting clothes on their person.

Just the same, he was protective of his adoptive brother, no matter that Kail was ice to his water and they weren’t quite the same, they were different enough to not always get along and at times not feel like he wanted to be anywhere near the other dragon but he was protective of the slightly younger dragon and there was nothing to change that. He would protect at all cost but it still didn’t make him bad or dangerous. He didn’t go out looking for fights.

Shaking his head, Sasha settles along the window seat, staring outside at the falling snow. The big, fat flakes were beautiful but they tended to leave him feeling pretty cold. It was another good excuse to not go with the pair when they went for the market. Instead, he waits for them, patient and quiet, not budging from his spot in the window seat. He knows he’ll see them coming from a pretty long way and he can wait.

He’s good at waiting.

The moon seems so big tonight.

Timeline/World: Darkness of Space – Pit Stop Along the Way
Characters: Sasha Pajari
Race: Dragon – Water
Age: 28, physically about 20
Final Word Count: 524 words

---

I spend so much time outside that you’d think I get tired of looking at the moon, but I just don’t. I can’t. The moon, one of the few that orbits around this planet, just looks glorious to me and that will never change. It’s this moon in particular though, the closeness she has to the planet, just close enough for the tides, close enough to illuminate the whole mountainside when she’s full but far enough to not cause any trouble.

Don’t ask me why this one over the others, at least not beyond the basic reasons. The other moons are just as pretty, just as bright but there’s something about her, she just speaks to me and I could spend my nights sprawled out there, watching her rise over the horizon and hide away when her time is done with us, to prepare to return to us the following evening. I could probably spend my whole days out here just staring at the sky but I’d be a pretty damn useless member of society and we don’t want that.

Not that I’m very useful in most ways, as a species that’s supposed to be extinct, at least on this planet, I don’t get to go out much. We don’t get to go out much, Kyle does most of the work for us though he’s found stuff that we can do from home to be useful and it brings in enough money that we’re not really worrying about these things. At least, I think we’re not. Kyle doesn’t mention anything often and nothing is falling apart around us so I think we’re doing all right.

So while I know I could spend my nights inside, cuddled up to them, I spend a lot of them outside, just sitting there at first, waiting for her to show, even when she’s hidden in the shadows I can spy her, I know she’s there and I wait, breath held, just watching as she slowly climbs up into the dark sky, bringing with her the beauty that is night out here. It’s so dark, I feel like I can see forever. I can see so many stars and I’ve lost count of them. I used to count them, a decade ago, when we settled here. I counted them, I gave the constellations my eyes could discover names and I kept track but the moon took over and my attention is on her more often than on the stars.

Just the same, I lost count of how often Kail or Kyle have brought me back inside, usually in the colder months. Near dragged me back inside because I was glued to my spot, watching her in the sky, shivering away because I’m an idiot and I get lost in these things but she’s so beautiful, so big, so everything, I have no words. They’re patient with me, at least. I’m grateful for that because I think I would be a very sad dragon if I couldn’t have at least a few moments with her beauty. I just need to learn to not get lost in her gaze, that’s all.

I was wondering when you were going to notice.

Timeline/World: Birds of a Feather – To Serve and Protect
Characters: Sasha Pajari
Race: Human
Age: 27
Final Word Count: 526 words

---

The change wasn’t subtle, at least I didn’t think it was and living with a group of other guys who kept their hair a bright shade of colour of their own I figured it wouldn’t take long to notice. I was wrong. At least, for the most part, I was wrong. The first comment came in a curious but somewhat expected ‘there’s something different about you’. It took almost two days but maybe I shouldn’t have been counting the days the way I did since I’d just come home late the prior evening and everyone had mostly settled in for the night and when I’d gone out the following morning for work, I was one of the first ones up and out the door.

So one day makes sense, the question came the evening when I got home. I only grinned a little, shrugging, playing a little take-a-guess game. Not a bad game and an entertaining one, depending on who I ask. Red played well but Indigo not as much, for one thing.

By the time dinner was on the table I had been asked by two more and I still hadn’t really given a proper answer but I’m like that on some days, for things like these I just liked to keep them guessing.

Now, if I’d cut my hair in any drastic way, I wouldn’t have played along since it would have been pretty instantly visible but a shift in the shade of blue of my hair is a more subtle change so this was fun. The blue was very different to my eyes but it’s my hair so I know that I probably saw it differently than them.

It was Kail, as he dropped into the chair next to mine and leaned over to kiss my cheek, who put an amused end to the game when he said, “Love the new colour, it looks gorgeous.”

I did pout at him for a second, especially as it clued the others in on what was ‘different’ but I admit that it made me laugh more than anything. I beamed a second later and just kissed his cheek in return, thanking him for the compliment. A few more compliments came from around the table before the subject was dropped and food was eaten. That’s all I’d wanted, I didn’t need to be showered for hours and hours with compliments, just one person realizing what that different about my person is all I’d wanted and I’d gotten that.

I hadn’t changed my hair colour or at least the shade or hue of it in a few years at least, I’d been pretty attached to the hair colour that had earned my the ‘little boy blue’ nickname and while my hair still is blue, it’s not the way it had been before, when Kyle got me away from Bad Dog so I guess maybe this is my way of finally saying I’m done with my past? I’m moving on?

I’m not sure but I guess it doesn’t really matter. Haven’t had drugs in a really long time and I’m proud of myself. That’s all that matters.